........................................................................................ - a weBlog by Snowy and me.

Friday 5 August 2011

Between Lust And Tenderness

Philip Larking wrote
'To be honest in sex is to be tender,
to be tender is not to be lustful,
then clearly, between tenderness
and lust, a large gap remains
to be bridged. I won't say
'It Doesn't Matter', but it is
all a question of luck, isn't it?'

from his posthumously published
correspondence 'Letters to Monica'

3 comments:

  1. I wonder what you mean with.....to be honest in sex.....

    To be dishonest in sex is better than no sex.....

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  2. Larkin was a strong poet but a highly ambivalent person. He never married his Monica, but towards the end of his life lived with her, and he wrote this to her when she suspected him of lapsing in his commitment to her. It is debatable whether no sex is better than dishonest sex. From personal experience dishonesty will always have consequences, not least the liar being dishonest to themselves later, and being more inventive to cover up the original invention. Honesty should promote tenderness towards others, whether in sex or more generally.

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