Unpossessive Attentiveness

is a virtue I have often found in others
and dimly seen in myself.
Whilst when small I wished to be lightly held,
shared, and even dandled on the knees of relatives
my ache to be hugged and wanted was to be my darkness.

The family phrase that froze me was ''I want' never gets'.
I was there to say 'Please' and to receive what others
wanted for me. I was their accessory.
In middle age my gloom lost its edge.
'I want' has got me some things I liked.
Fresh space, time and distance have erased
old wants, and finally turned what seemed
irreversable losses into something usable.

But still I seek that mix of distance,
lightness and immediacy.
The gift for others of unpossessive
attentiveness still eludes me.